Cynicism is a thief.

Cynical:bitterly or sneeringly distrustful, contemptuous, or pessimistic.

Presently I’m noticing my tendency to choose a sarcastic, distrusting mind over a mind of love. Naturally, when one is hurt or feels disappointed they will consciously or subconsciously build a wall of stones. I’ve been realizing that this barrier of “protection” is beginning to block my vision from the beauty in the world around me. I’m boxing myself in.

Oddly enough, when we’re infants and in the most fragile state, we have all the trust in the world. As we turn into children we offer ourselves to each other, we speak our minds and reach out into an unusual and foreign places. Though we’ve been wounded & bruised let us mindfully breathe and offer our hands to trust others, to trust God.. not just with our logic, but with our heart and emotions. Let us consciously reject an attitude of distrust and cynicism, for it will rob us of all our childlike qualities which we desperately need.

The red bird (6.29.10)

Lately I’ve noticed that every time there has been a season of famine in my life I begin to see red birds everywhere. A year ago I came to my wit’s end while questioning why these seasons seem to come so often & so intensely for me. Why would God would allow such painful character traits to be in me when I do all I can to be the opposite?

But as God promises, He always provides something to those in need. And instead of what I expected, (words from the bible or a lovely, heart felt song) He gave me birds. RED ones. And He’s doing it again. I’ve seen a red bird practically every day for the past month & a half. They literally swoop in front of my car, fly by my face or land in my line of walking.

Today I thought out of pure genius-ness “Maybe it’s supposed to symbolize something… I’ll look online.” So I did. I read mostly about how for centuries red birds have symbolized  grief & suffering. But when a flying bird symbolizes freedom. So naturally, a flying red bird is a promise that the suffering and grief is temporary and will give me more freedom in days to come.

God knows what each of us need. Sometimes I do wish that I had a “relationship with God” like others have: undying faith, sweet & tangible companionship, etc. but for some reason God has chosen it to be like this right now. Simple. Flying. Birds.

The blue moments (6.17.10)

If I had to capture something from today slash the last two weeks, it would be this photo. Unfortunately, as I’ve mentioned, my camera has been dead & MIA so I haven’t posted anything.

I found this photo while I was bumbling about on my fav. website, stumbleupon.com, and I stopped everything, posted it as my desktop, and every day I stare at it and try to come up with a reason as to why it’s so meaningful to me.

I think we forget that we are loved in our lives, so we do things that feed the negative. We get jealous. We get bitter. We allow anger to seep in every relationship and then justify it somehow. But if we TRULY believed we are loved & valued by the One who made us and by the ones who surround us, it’d be so much easier to sever the moments that threaten to tie our hearts down. It sounds so easy. Guess it’s a process.. a journey. And dear Lord, I know I am impatient in journeys.

6 years or so ago Jackie Hyland introduced me to a book that introduced me to an idea: Letters to My Son by Kent Nerburn .. the idea: “THE BLUE MOMENTS.”

He explains it as this- “Life gives us all such moments where a brilliant light shines through the ordinary moments in our ordinary days. They come unsolicited and unannounced, and provide us the gift of significance. What it is important is to remember that these ARE gifts, and that we cannot receive them if we are not open to them.” Anger/Bitterness/Resentment/Envy/Harshness all close our hands to receiving the blue moments.

So this picture brought me a blue moments, several actually. Unintentionally & intentionally I am holding onto the fact that I am loved. TRULY loved. That my life is important & that things I do can affect others. I pray for more blue moments to come.. and that I can take pictures of them… AND that I can share them with you all.

I suck at updating. simple as that.

welllll… so much for me trying a daily post.

haha, unfortunately being out of town so often has really mixed me up! BUT I’ve decided to give myself some grace and then apologize to everyone for not being the faithful photographer and blogger I promised I’d be.

unfortunately my camera has been dead, so I shall charge it and return to blog life.

over and out,

erin

The promises (6.9.10)

I love the color white. I love flowy, romantic dresses. And I love watching a woman transform into a bride.

I’m pretty positive my body is not capable of holding in tears when I see a bride. I can’t even walk down the aisle as a bridesmaid and keep those suckers back.

This weekend as I witnessed two of our precious friends make sweet promises to each other, I realized what it is about brides that get me to my core: There’s so much hope & sincerity in the promises they give and receive. Unhindered love is so beautiful. The inevitabilty that as a spouse we will have seasons of pain, confusion & a sense of being jaded is sad. But without that we can’t get to a deeper level of love. I think God knew what He was allowing when He designed the ups & downs of marriage.

Every time I sit and watch a bride & groom unite in words, I remember the simple yet deep truths of what marriage means. I suppose those promises may be different to every couple, but it is so incredible to remember how we’ve been made capable to make choices and promises. And even more incredible, the capability to strongly hold on to them with the Truth that has been given to us.

The cracks (6.8.10)

to simply express one of my loves since childhood: i like when concrete, bricks or stones have cracks and you can see what’s beneath them. i find so much joy when unwanted weeds and little grasses sprout up from underneath them. it’s a lovely picture of our hearts.

The fat baby (6.2.10)

I

I currently earn a good portion of my income  by being with Zach, the fat baby. But the cute baby. He has recently learned a wonderful new move: the scoot. And may I say, I am quite entertained. Some days are lonely, some days are exciting… but I think the Lord has taught me this more than anything else by being with fat baby:

Each day is to be taken in little chunks. To soak in! And for people of my particular personality type, to not get overwhelmed.

The hours (6.1.10)

Josiah. Though we’ve been through some unexpected change & turmoil in our short 8 months of marriage, today once-again proved that with sour comes sweet. The last few hours of our day, a typical erin meltdown arrived. I was held down and overwhelmed by surfacing insecurities, so Jo just smiled and held me while I cried. And when I kissed his sleepy eyes goodbye this morning, he softly told me “you are so valued. you are so loved.”

The change in baking (5.31.10)

This year I have found a new love: baking from scratch. It was a whim of a decision, a temporary job proposed to me by my wonderful father-in-law. Seven months later I still am stuffing myself into the little corner of the Buon Giorno Coffeehouse kitchen, switching the ipod on, and throwing some flour around while I sing with dear old Patty Griffin.

The two best parts of it:

(1) watching something change from one thing to a completely different thing JUST by placing it in the oven. this is a lovely thing… it reminds me that I won’t always be just one way.. and God wants to remind me of  that through piecing together dough and tomatoes.

(2) sticking my hand into the giant bin of silky flour.

One of the small & simple joys I got to experience today.

The Beginning.

The history of ‘snowbootandsoda’: in ninth grade I befriended a quirky & unusual friend. His name was Joe and the day I sat next to him in english class I knew that highschool wouldn’t be hell. Being a teenager, naturally, I needed to be a part of instant messaging. But I had a problem: I couldn’t come up with a screenname! It had to be clever, interesting, a window into my soul! Thank God Joe had recently walked into my life.

When I made him aware of my horrible problem he simply asked, “well, what makes you happy? Make a list.” … So I did. I began a giant list of everything I could think of that brought me joy. Somewhere amidst all the scribbles was ‘snow on my boots’ & ‘jones soda”. From that day forward, whenever I was sad I would write giant lists of everything I loved.. from my awesome yellow dress to the way my bones feel when I crawl into bed after being active all day.

This is what this blog is. That. In pictures.